I thought we sorted all this out back in 2000:

> NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> To the citizens of the United States of America
>
> In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus
> to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
> independence, effective today.
>
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
> duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except
> Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon.
> Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware
> that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister
> for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
> Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next
> year to determine whether any of you noticed.
>
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
> rules are introduced with immediate effect:
>
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
> Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
> amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally,
> you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
> "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
> filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
> inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".
>
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
> on your behalf.
>
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents.
> It really isn't that hard.
>
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
> the good guys.
>
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
> Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want
> you to get confused and give up half way through.
>
> 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
> kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a
> very good game.
>
> The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
> borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football.
> You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play
> proper football.
>
> Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a
> difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
> to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not
> involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full
> kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at
> least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
>
> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
> if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
> there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
> The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for
> "sh*t".
>
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 7th will be a new
> national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
> Day".
>
> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
> your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what
> we mean.
>
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
>
> Thank you for your cooperation.
>