Ok, I've added 220ohm resistors to every lcd line and now I'm alble to manually initialize teh LCD.. that is, thruogh the bootstrap.
However, no matter what code I send to the chip, it seems to always keep port1 as
(0)01101110(7) and EN=1 and RS=RW=0
1 = 5.15v, 0 = 0.06v

I programmed it the following:
;p3.7=EN, p3.6=RW, p3.5=RS
org 0
ljmp main
main:
mov p1,00h ;(00000000)

mov p3,80h ;(00000001)
mov p1,38h ;(00011100)
mov p3,00h ;(00000000)
idle_here:
jmp idle_here
end

after running this, the ports were like I mentioned above.
I verified the code, and even double checked it with the HEX file. It all seems perfect.
Maybe its a stupid code error, but I just can't seem to make this work right.