"we HAVE read the damn manual."

Don't forget that the purpose of the manual is just to tell you about the tool - it is not a textbook to teach you how to program in assembler!
Manuals for Assemblers, Compilers, etc usually assume that you already know how to program in the appropriate language.

"I don't know ASM well enough to even be able to realize what the errors were myself."

Maybe you need to take a step back, get a good book, and read-up on some fundamentals?
Then maybe the manuals, the error messages and even the contributions you're getting here would make more sense?