I need to connect PSEN to RTS and DTR to RESETand this pins are 12v high rigth
I doubt this (12V) VERY much, I am 99.17% certain it is not so, check the datasheet.

I know I'll need a MAX232 to get RXD and TXD from RS232 convert to TTL levels. Can I get a cable for this or I'll need to build my own?
I build my own in the few cases where I do not have one on the board already.

Now for the NoTouch I need to find the link but my question is this my sotfware is very large and is in assemnbler what I need to do with this software caopy as a subroutine or I just loaded in a diferent add of the uc?
Since you evidently do not use the UART on your board, NoTouch (Philips version - the Atmel should be about the same) will occupy about 50 bytes.

Erik

BOOLOADER, you should have waited to halloween to post this :-)