Mike, I can't understand why you're so fixated on this issue. If you don't like the stated configuration - wire it up as you see fit. Personally, I would avoid having the lcd memory mapped for the reasons stated by Erik - most cpus are faster than the lcd timing requires so you're driving into trouble. So apart from using the precious port pins, you can memory map a 74hct574 octal register and run the lcd in 4bit mode and tie the lcd r/w signal low so it is write only.

Come to think of it, to avoid your current problem, just tie the lcd r/w low so you cannot have a bus collision. Rather than poll the lcd busy status, just use time delays. Job done.